Sunday, November 21, 2010

Micro Apocalyptic Weapon Systems: an Introduction

     The Islamofascists had already blown up all the women and children so they had no one to hide behind anymore and hence were galavanting about in the Afghani poppie field, dancing and singing praises to Allah, praying for more women and children to torment before their scheduled whisking-away to Paradise and their alloted seventy-two alleged virgins.
     Captain Lebenowitz, proud Polish American Army officer, watched from the craggy outcropping with his team of Black Ops. Watching a Taliban pick up a poppy, sniff it and then dance around in a circle, he shook his head. "Okay. That's enough. This would be too easy so call in The Shepherd." Staff Sergeant Jim put in the call.
     The blazing white light of the Messiah's ParkZone Ultra Micro P-51 appeared above the poppie field in an instant and zipped around, over the heads of the muslims. "I am the way, the truth and the life," filled the air in all languages with a startling clarity that undeniably revealed its heavenly origin. "This is your last chance," was the jist.
     The muslim fascists picked up stones from the field and hurled them at the Warrior of Truth in the sky. This was the last act of defiant stupidity these folks would ever commit on the good earth.
     The projectiles from the six Angelic Browning Micro Machine Guns were of heavenly forging, balls of pure unquenchable fire that tracked straight and true to each intended target of denial.
     In an instant each terrorist with innocent blood on his hands was engulfed in pure white flame and reduced to a heap of ashes as their dark spirits were quickly and fairly judged, and driven with Biblical force into the Lake of Fire for all eternity, where they would gnash their teeth in unending trevail..
     The blazing white P-51 did a victory roll over Captain Lebenowitz's team and flew off heavenward.
     "They made that call," the Captain said.
     "Justice is sweet," Segeant Jim said.
     "And swift," Lieutenant Sakai said. "Man, how about those 'Fittys' on that bird?"
     "Yes. Selective reaping," Lebenowitz marveled. "Fifty caliber justice that is harmless to those who believe and know the sound of his voice. Yes. Our Shepherd's 'fittys' kick selective ass."
     "Word," Sakai punctuated. "But what about our new convert?" he asked, pointng to the one remaining Taliban in the field, who was on his knees with his head bowed to his chest, very much alive.
      "Ah," Captain lebenowitz smiled. "That's our new translator."


Friday, November 19, 2010

The Shepherd

His Ultra Micro P-51 is pure, blazing white light. He flies over all battlefields where soldiers of Truth and Freedom stand with him, as they fight below him in fields of fire, liberated through him and his truth. He watches over them as they labor and hope for the human spirits that yearn for a liberty they do not yet know and awaits them if only they would turn to him and be healed.. On the transmitter is his Father, and they are one and the same.
     No one shall snatch these soldiers from the Father's hand. He is Christ Jesus, pilot and guide, and Messiah. Truth. Word, my brothers.
     No one provides better ground support, and no one makes a better wingman.
     Thank you, my Lord and King.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Lt. Bush Saves World, Part Deux

     The following takes place during an elapsed fifteen seconds of time:    
As he aproached it at Mach 1.2 the flat green Gulf filled the horizon through Lt. Bush's canopy. The first oddity he noticed was a MiG-21 at a distance flying upside down towards him....
     Fredo Castro wondered why the sky was green with little breaking white caps and the sea was blue with puffy white cloud looking thingies....
     "If this guy releases that bomb this will be interesting," Lt. Bush thought to himself as he began to squeeze the release trigger that would launch one of his craft's missles. "But it ain't coming to that." He knew the bomb, if armed, would go off even though it would bounce along the MiG's fuselage or maybe not even drop if it were released from an upside down position.....
     Fredo saw a fish leaping in the green sky and thought, "That's sure pretty."
     "Pickle," G.W. said as the trigger was engaged and the Aim-4 Falcon radar guided missile rocketed out of the open internal weapons bay and made a perfectly straight track to the MiG, now a scant two miles away.
     "Boom!" Fredo's so-called thoughts ended in an instant in the explosion of jet fuel and high explosive.
     And thus ended the world's deadliest moment.
     The Hydrogen bomb warhead fell benignly down through the sky, and "Plunk," impacted squarely on the Galveston beach a scant fifty yards from a group of young, iconoclastic idealists who paid it no mind, as they were busy smoking a big fat Panamanian doobie and talking about how they would someday run things, really make a difference and give all the oppressed people of the world tax-funded, "free and efficent" government-run healthcare provided by unpaid, resentful doctors and how everybody would drive futuristic electric cars powered by coal burning facilities that they, themselves, would never have to actually look at and thereby contemplate the symbolic irony of their very existence.
     Before the dispatched Air Force bomb disposal team could remove it, the Hydrogen  bomb leaked a little weaponized Uranium 235 which no doubt further stunted the minds of these utopian toking, future communist-scratch that-progressive politicos.
     Which goes far in explaining why Nancy said we should pass the two-thousand page bill so that we could know what's in it and why I caught a redfish with six eyes last week.
    Lieutenant Bush hung a U-turn in his special F-102, hit the afterburner and headed back to Ellington Field. He had saved the world from a nuclear blast wasteland of Meggido unleashed, and yet, alas, no one would ever know but himself. "But you know why we do it," he smiled to himself, "For the Ride!"

History Hidden: Lieutenant Bush (Covertly) Saves America

     Unbeknownst to the world the lone MiG-21 Fishbed (NATO moniker) was well into American Airspace, over Galveston, Texas, to be more specific. It was 1970, a gentler, more hazed time, and the socialist hippies who would be in power in Washington, D.C., in the near future were, at present, down on the beach, toking up big-time on the quiet barrier island in their re-creation of last year's--1969's--Woodstock, penned "Woodstork: One Strange Bird". They littered the beach with empty cans and fast-food containers and it really was quite ugly--most West End businesses, in fact, had closed down and boarded up their stores prior to the event, fully aware of the seedy nature of this "clientelle".
      The MiG was coming in from Cuba, piloted by Fidel Castro's unheralded half-wit brother, Fredo Castro. He had planned to hit Miami but he'd unknowingly gotten lost and was actually en route to Houston. Nonetheless, the radar-jamming device the Russian  Elves' Works had come up with in Moscow was working beautifully. This was supposed to be a dry run to test the device prior to its installation in ICBMs and various craft of mass destruction for the upcoming communist invasion of America.
     But Fredo had bribed his ground crew with rum and cigars to strap on a full-blown 10 megaton yield Hydrogen bomb to the fast little MiG. He wanted to impress his brother Fidel and figured this was a sure winner. "I'm smart," Fredo often said, "Not stupid, like Fidel always says. I'll show him I can do the family business."
     Texas Air National Guard pilot George Walker Bush was startled awake by his Native Texan sixth sense, and sat bolt upright in his spindly Officers' quarters bed at Ellington Field that afternoon. It was a much needed cat nap cut brutally short following his earlier flight over the Gulf with the 147th Fighter Wing. He knew that his country needed him--and right now.......
     He threw on his flight suit and g-suit and was out the door and onto the tarmac inside of five minutes. His highly modified Convair F-102 Delta Dagger was being fueled up and checked by his loyal crew, headed by Tech Sergeant Chen, prior to being towed back to the hangar.
     "Hold that bird, Sergeant!" the young Lieutenant said.
     "What up, Chief?" Chen asked.
     "No time again. Load her up with Aim-4s--radar and heat seeking--and make sure she's topped off."
     "You're getting a strong message again, aren't you?" Chen noted, and got to work. "If it's as serious as what you picked up in Tangiers, then I ain't asking any questions. Good luck, Lieutenant."
     George went through his pre-flight quickly and soundly as the canopy slowly glided  down and sealed tightly to the sleek airframe of the jet. He talked to the tower and requested his squadron be alerted but that he had to go, and go NOW.
     The men in the tower of course knew of the Lieutenant's famed precognition and had been given orders to let the pilot act on them with no inhibitions, and this issued directly from the president. So they cleared him post-haste, fearing the wrath of one Richard M. Nixon, sure; but much more fearsome to these fine men was what would happen to their country if Lieutenant Bush was not cleared and given full support. After the "incident" in Tangiers, all questioning of the man had been officially put to rest.
     Cleared for takeoff by the tower, Lieutenant Bush pushed the throttle of the turbojet full forward, igniting the afterburner. A good pilot tapped for Instructor duty, he was long over any trepidation of flying a jet that has a higher accident and pilot mortality rating than even the AV-8, the American version of the British Harrier jumpjet, an especially dangerous jet to fly for its inherent slow speed capability and requirements for its intended role: to hover. Such heavy mass at zero airspeed is deathly vulnerable with an engine hiccup, much less a full-blown failure.
     The F-102 Special Designate "G.W." cleared the ground and the Lieutenant retracted the landing gear and flew straight to where his gut told him to go: Galveston Island. Something terrible was afoot there; he sensed it. He engaged his weapons systems and was good to go, ready to light the candles and pull the trigger. He had the green light.........

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Spontaneous Servo Reversal

Prognosis negative! Pull up! Pull up! Captain's going to crash!
Wait, I AM pulling up! What gives?
"Kabooom!" The impact was such that the shaft of the propellor cracked in two.
There were no survivors.
Aparrently, a servo can decide of its own volition to reverse its response to control input through the receiver from one day to the next......Up becomes down, and down up, and
Moral of the story: always check each control throw response prior to EACH flight. What failed? Receiver or Transmitter? It must have been the signal, not the servo? Upon further review the memory on the transmitter was confirmed to have been "washed". It is a fascist conspiracy.
     The Captain of the Van Jones was cremated at the site of the "accident". The crash team investigative unit is still under preliminary review, with final analysis forthcoming.
They do, however, suspect foul play. The Communist Party of America and/or Saddam (he's not dead) are high on the list of suspects with the most to gain from the tragedy.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The "Van Jones" Manned Target Drone

The canopy mods are so that little Boris may watch as the armor piercing, incendiary Micro Machine Gun projectiles streak in and riddle his fuselage with holes of unquenchable fire.
On Painting: first, light sanding with 600 grit. Heavy tape (masking tape too thin) over motor inlet and battery tray area. Krylon H2O spray, with low humidity (55% or less); let first coat dry then follow with second coat. While I have read negatives on this paint, I disagree; it performed very well in low humidity, imparting a nice, glossy coat.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Kommie Killer

This is XP-51 #1 reconfigured for high visibility flight operations. While the enemy is focused on this bird, her wingman and other team members will sneak in undetected to unleash the Dogs of War and Cry, "Havoc!".

But of course she is not defenseless: she is laden with Dr. Browning's and the Elves' Works' Micro Machine Guns. Imagine the consternation of the communist enemy pilot as he glances over his shoulder and the last thing he sees before he is shot down mercilessly is this glowing red apparition of redemption that symbolizes his very tyranny against liberty, free thought and God and Christ Himself.....
Simply absolute and ironic justice!
Godspeed, Team Freedom!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Elves' Micro Digital Machine Shop

This is where the genius of the great inventor John Browning would come to an unexpected and diminutive glorification: the Elves Micro Works. Similar to "The Skunk Works" of Northrup fame, only much, much smaller.....
     But first, think about what Browning's full-sized M-2 Fifty caliber machine gun did for America and the rest of the free world (Yeah, you're welcome!): Virtually every fighter aircraft and bomber aircraft America put into the air during World War II was HEAVILY armed with these works of wonder and, yes,  carnage.
It could be legitimately said that, without John  Browning's invention, we might be speaking German and Japanese but NO hablo Ingles aqui!
     Not to mention the greatest sidearm ever, the 1911 model .45 caliber automatic!
     I dedicate this Post to the great American, John Browning! Without you, I would not be wrting this now, and our dear readers would be reading something else in an alien language.
     But back to the elves........they desinged their own machine shop, using their tiny hands to construct tiny grinders, saws, digital micrometer-guided lazer-cutters capable of slicing through the hardest steels and alloys. I let them just do their deal.
     Then they formed a union.....